My New Invention

For those who are still committed to the idea that breasts are for aesthetics only, please stop reading. We'll see you in another post, though I can't imagine you'll really like anything I write, so maybe not.

I've decided that we should have moldable breasts which can be changed to fit any situation we might find ourselves in. This thought comes to me, of course, in the midst of nursing days and finding things wanting to visit the southern hemisphere. Check this commercial out:

The all-new mooooooldable adjustable breast! Now available in a bra near you. Child crying in a carseat in the back while you're driving? No problem! Your new breasts can stretch to a length of five feet so you can comfortably nurse while stuck in rush hour traffic. Have a hot date tonight? No worries! Your breasts can be molded and lifted to look just right in that new dress. Feeding a hungry baby in your lap while trying to send an email? The National Geographic setting is the one for you. And for bathing suit season, you choose the size and shape that makes you look best.

I'd buy it. Wouldn't you?