Ghost Baby (spoooooooky) and more

I'm smiling. And that's amazing.

I've abandoned my kids. And that's misleading.

We have a ghost baby in our house. And that's (not quite) true.

I bet you're most concerned about the second statement, so I'll start there. My kids are in their room, and I'm in our room. After #1 would not nap as much as he truly, truly needed in order to be happy and well rested . . . and after he didn't let #2 go down for a nap . . . oh let me back up. I picked Mas up at school today, and he had unusual behavior in that he threw a mini-fit for me on the floor while whining. He is pretty darn perfect at school (though not at home, obviously), so this is strange. I realized that he needed to go to bed as soon as he got home, and I made sure that happened. Well where he needed to sleep all afternoon, he took an even shorter nap than usual. I made several attempts to soothe him back into sleep. No luck, still stuck. (That is from the book One Duck Stuck. You know it's bad when you're quoting books that have less than 50 words in them.)

Then I put #2 down. She cried for a minute then quieted. Silly me for thinking that was because she had gone to sleep.

As everyone who knows him knows, Mas is quite intrigued (fascinated, obsessed) with all things construction machinery. They are making (leveling, paving) a street behind our house, so he gets to watch exciting things like shovels, forklifts, and bulldozers every day. In the past two days, he has been fortunate enough to see (and clearly identify for his uneducated parents) a motor grader and a cold planer. [See Mas with motor grader on left.] Pretty amazing. Well I looked out our window to see cement mixers pouring cement and some kind of machine following behind shaping it into the curb. I thought I would be nice and get Mas out while Shaifali was sleeping to show him. I went in, and there were all the blankets from the sides of her pack n play piled on the floor with all the sheets and blankets from his bed. She was smiling at him as he was talking to her and being silly on the outside. Oy.

So I did not tell him what was out there, nor did I permit him to come out. I simply closed the

door and walked away. Eventually I went back in to turn on the light, turn off the white noise machine, make sure Shaifali hadn't been piled on top of with toys, and just to play good parent for a minute. I also gave Shaifali a few toys so that she would be entertained. I told Mas that it was his job to play with his tractor and to make sure Shaifali was happy. Then I left again. [Poor Baby That One, a nickname that we have given her, has done nothing wrong.]

I started writing this and watching an episode of 16 and Pregnant. Don't you judge me!* Superdad is now home, so his shift has begun. I am still locked away.

The fact that I went and talked nicely and then walked away smiling is astounding, and I'm very proud of myself.

Now for Ghost Baby, whom I was planning to write about earlier today. You either know or can imagine how hard it is to feel rested when a baby wakes you up all night. Angel Puff--another name we sometimes call her--is an excellent sleeper and now wakes between 0 and 2 times per night to nurse and to be changed. She always goes right back to sleep too. But last night a baby woke us all night--it wasn't even our baby! If you watch Modern Family, you're familiar with baby monitors sharing frequencies so you hear people in your neighborhood. Well Ghost Baby must live somewhere around here. Ghost Baby woke us up all night!!!! Darn you, Ghost Baby! Go to sleep! What a wasted night and an "interesting" day.

*My love for all things on-screen involving teen pregnancy began when I was very young. When I was in fifth grade and wanted to watch For Keeps starring Molly Ringwald for my birthday sleepover, my parents let us. I like them for it. The parents in this uppity conservative family then labeled my parents as bad parents, not that they said it to their faces. Meanwhile, their poor daughter didn't know what a period was, and we were 10!!!!!!!! I educated her while we worked in the ball room (checking balls out to other kids to play with at recess). I think that her parents thought I was a floozy. Ha! Hello Robertson family!

Additionally: I feel that I have drifted far from poop. When was the last time I mentioned it? Well let me mention it now: Shaifali successfully poops in the toilet all the time now. We haven't changed a poopy diaper in a week and a half or so. When we put her on the toilet to pee, she poops if she needs to. Wooooohooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!

Even later addition: Mas continues his reign of terror, so I have resigned my position for the night. Superdad is close to resigning as well. If only there were a third, fourth, and fifth adult to pass the responsibility on to. Volunteers?

The beauty in . . .

a locked bathroom door.

This morning, I could have gotten away without locking it, as wonderful Superdad and wonderful Supermother-in-law are downstairs with the kids.

I locked it anyway.

It's a simple thing really. But for those of you who don't know how wonderful it is, let me extol its brilliance. Whether I am actually using le toilette, taking two minutes (if I'm lucky) to brush my teeth, or doing some miscellaneous activity that I can't even think of right now, it's just quite lovely to have some privacy. Bear in mind that Supertoddler is only 2.5, so I think that the need for a locked door will only increase over the next year. Then there's Superbaby, who will someday want to come in too. Supertoddler is actually quite good with the bathroom door for most people. He now knocks and says, "can I come in?!"

But that little twist of metal is comforting.

We all need some time to ourselves, and sometimes that bathroom break is the only time we get. I know that going to the bathroom was a downright luxury when I worked as a server in a restaurant. Last time I worked in an office, I worked pretty much alone, but I wonder: do people use the bathroom at the office the same way? A moment to collect themselves and just be away from everyone? Hmmm . . .

I keep a book in the bathroom. Many people keep magazines. It's not because I have a digestive problem. (Cue mom saying that the mere mention of bathroom-goings-on is uncouth.) I keep it because I like to read a paragraph or so of this book every time I'm in there. Frankly, it's the only novel that I am reading right now. And I'll have you know that I'm on page 85. So there! Reading novels is, sadly, kind of on hold until the kids are older or life gets calmer. Right now, my non-family-time energy goes *zing* to cleaning or dishes, *zoom* to maintaining my business, or *zam* to music or friends. There are other things, but reading just doesn't make it to the top of the list. So I love my paragraph at a time book.

Meanwhile, the kidlets are excellent readers and both completed their summer reading programs. Mas needs no encouragement to read, as it's just one of the things he finds it necessary to do in the day. Shaifali has loved books from an even younger age than Mas. So I guess I get my reading in every day--it's just about dumptrucks and animals in the water and baby haikus. I hope that the conversations I have, articles I read, and podcasts I listen to will keep my brain alive until I have time to read more again.

I was watching a friend yesterday as she was trying to talk to me. One kid came whining about being hungry. Another came up and just playfully hit her on the arm several times. And she just kept talking. A sister of this same friends said a few weeks ago how she, as Auntie, scolded the kids to leave their mama alone while she was in the bathroom trying to take a shower! And her kids are much older than mine.

Forget what they say about finding an hour to meditate each day. Well, don't forget it, just don't feel bad if all you can afford is 1.5 minutes in the bathroom by yourself. Whether you have kids or not, or if your kids are 2 or 20, keep finding your little piece of joyful solitude.

Shaifali finds her serenity with a rose at the Rose Garden