What swear word could possibly be that long?! Oh, I just thought of one, but then it would be "an" instead of "a." I digress. It's not a swear word. First of all, thank you to my lovely commenters/confidantes who have complimented my weight loss. I now weigh what I did when I was 21, which is the lowest weight in my entire adult life. That said, I don't look how I looked at 21, but whatevs. Another 10.5 pounds and I will be at my (healthy) goal-for-life weight. And this means I've lost 26.5 pounds total so far. Good, right? Workin' it toward health, right?So as my sweet little boy sat on the toilet the other day, I stood at the door holding my sweet little girl and talking to my mom. My shirt was riding up to expose my stomach, and he exclaimed with utter jubilation and a finger pointed and a gaze toward my stomach:
"Mama! You're a SNOWMAN!!!!!" (Insert hysterical laughter.)
Now, lest you think he was referring to anything besides my stomach (pillow pet?), let me tell you that this was not the first time. A few days before, he had poked my side fat as I slouched in the chair next to him and said the same thing, though less emphatically. I asked why, hoping that something other than my midsection had brought him to this conclusion. He said, "because you're made of snow." Ok; I'll take it.
Well now it was clear. Again, thank goodness that I am resilient and have good self-esteem. My mom and I had to duck away into the hallway to hide our laughter.
Apparently the toilet is a throne of judgement from which one can both poop and insult the one who made, baked, birthed, nursed, nourished and whateverelsed them!
Watch out, Mas! That's no caring Mama reading to you! It's a SNOWMAN!!!
Writer's note: He didn't actually say this as an insult. He really was quite amused. We're not yet to the age where these things come out as insults.
Dear Frosty,
ReplyDeletePerhaps he's getting sales commissions from a tanning salon? At any rate, view this as practice for the teen years when the uninvited feedback ups itself exponentially.
Love, Granny Arsenic (who is grateful every day that at least dogs can't blurt out whatever it is they really think about their loved ones)
Oh gosh, now you're reading to your son from the encyclopedia. ;)
ReplyDeleteWhen my sister was a little kid, she squeezed my mom's upper arm fat and said "Ooh, you have such big MUSCLES!"
GA, we'll see if the true feedback is easier or harder for me to take. I imagine that it continues to be more difficult for my own mother.
ReplyDeleteAcacia, I wish I were that cool! It's actually a really oldschool Disney storybook that my parents have at their house. It's a strange picture though that we were trying to figure out--four giant pools/fountains, horses in one of them, no clear giant buildings, and the story was about a peasant. Eh? Your sister was a smart one--disguise it as a compliment!