In an effort . . .

to be authentic, to be real, to be a representation of what's really out there in the parenting world, I will share:

I am discouraged today and feeling a little sad. Today is the kind of day where nothing seems to go right. I have cleaned scrubbed giant puddles of pee off the bathroom floor twice. (One of us is learning to pee standing up, and Imperfect Parents didn't get a second low stool for the downstairs bathroom.) I have been pulled out of a workout at a new gym because both kids were losing it. Mas never does that! Well maybe he does when he gets out of his bed 15 times between being put down and Mama coming to terms with the fact that he is just not going to get enough sleep tonight. I received a lunchdate/help cancellation because Superdad had to stay at work today because life explodes there too. So I went over the edge because I'm so desperate to have just a little time to myself and/or to have things go smoothly for longer than 15 minutes. Still, how can you lose it at these two?

But I do, and I did, and now I'm settling into the wonderful (truly!) parenting class that we have been meaning to complete for months now. It brings hope for me and them.

I want to share this with you because the polite and rose-colored representations are far too great in number out there. If you look online, you see nothing but the positive represented . . . or the extreme negative of abuse and neglect. There are two peripheral people in my life whose pictures I'd love to show, but I don't want to offend anyone. They both drip with creativity, at the very least. They are the mothers whose online representations could make someone feel TERRIBLE! I am so thankful that I don't take myself too seriously and that I am a confident person because I could be ripped to shreds looking at their stuff. Honestly, one seems to live in a rainbow. The kids' eyes are the color of the ocean in every picture, and they seem to dance whimsically around in a pot of gold at the end of their rainbow. The other has creative, cheap, organized craft projects for just about everything. Parenthood is a barrel of monkeys, indeed.

Superdad just read an article about how Facebook and online everything is bad for women's self-esteem because everyone puts their happiest, most "I'm-ok" pictures and words out there. I get it! I applaud these moms for their energy and creativity, and I am a bit envious, but surely there are flaws there too, right?

Life happens, and sometimes it's good, and sometimes it's bad. It's, oddly, our challenge to enjoy it. Maybe your daughter turns one, and she's sick, and you forget to wash the tablecloth for her birthday dinner. Maybe you didn't bother putting a nice outfit on yourself or a birthday outfit on her. OK, let's be honest: maybe you let her wear one sock, one leggie, underwear, and an old shirt for her birthday dinner.

But it's ok because you made a super-hippie cake with her brother that she liked a lot. (See video below.)

The comedian Louis CK said, "everything is amazing, and no one's happy." So I'm going to be happy! It's proving to be a journey, but I am doing everything in my power to enjoy it.

I'm here to expose my gaps in knowledge, my lack of patience (which I'm trying to grow), my underbelly (swear Shaifali called my stomach "pillow pet" the other day), my vast imperfections. I hope that it is helpful to everyone, parent or not, to have someone show the other side of life--and also to show that improvements happen with hard work and dedication. Thank you for being here!!!!!!